What are the signs your partner is cheating on you? 9 clues that should alarm you
Your partner is acting weird, quite different than usual but you can't understand why. You are right to be alarmed and to try every way to keep an eye on him without him/her noticing.
While it's not productive to jump straight to conclusions, there are signs that may help you understand the situation. If he hides his phone, receives frequent late-night messages or phone calls, or claims to go out with "friends" but might actually be seeing other women, perhaps the time has come to investigate. Below, we break down how to deal with it.

Avoid conflict
A very important thing is, first of all, to speak with the person concerned in a non-confrontational way. The first rule is to avoid accusatory statements.
Don't think about contacting a marriage therapist or counselor immediately, as your partner may get scared and refuse to speak to you. Be smart instead. Don't do things that could shake the trust he has in you. If it's been a while and you still haven't discovered what's going on, then you might consider contacting a professional intermediary.
How do you know your partner is cheating?
There are some important signs that help you understand if he is lying or cheating, especially when it comes to men. Unfortunately, subtle clues can be hard to catch, forcing you to remain in the dark too long.
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He often walks away
If he suddenly starts taking long calls in private with hushed tones, it’s often not just work. If his excuses sound off, keep an eye on who’s contacting him when the screen lights up.
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He has instant mood swings
He seems irritated by your presence, starts fights easily, and might just want time away—without saying why. Emotional detachment is often a defense mechanism.
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He changes appearance rapidly
If he suddenly hits the gym, grooms excessively, and irons clothes he never used to care about—especially before going out alone—this could be a red flag.
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He's mentally absent
He forgets your birthday or zones out in conversations. If he calls you by another name, don’t dismiss it—it could reveal more than he intended.
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He loses sexual interest in you
If the intimacy fades without discussion or context, and he avoids contact, this can often point to sexual fulfillment elsewhere.
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He hides financial transactions
Cheaters often use reloadable cards, PayPal, or vague e-commerce purchases to cover their tracks. Look for unexplained cash withdrawals or transfers.
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He has new "friends" at work
If he’s vague about colleagues, drop by unannounced. If he gets nervous, there’s a reason. Trust your instincts.
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He downloads new apps or starts using social media more

Snapchat, Telegram, or dating apps offer ephemeral messaging. Cheaters use these to avoid detection. If he installs new apps, ask questions.
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He’s cold and aloof
If he no longer communicates or seems disconnected emotionally, this may indicate he's emotionally invested elsewhere.
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Frequently Asked Questions
- What are the first signs of infidelity?
- Secretive phone use, change in schedule, and emotional detachment are often the first red flags.
- Should I confront my partner immediately?
- Not always. It's better to collect evidence and approach the topic calmly and strategically.
- Is it normal to suspect without proof?
- Yes, instincts matter. But always verify before making accusations.
- Can relationships recover after cheating?
- Yes, with therapy and open communication, many couples can heal.
Read more about the psychology behind cheating in this insightful article from Psychology Today.